Monday, March 26, 2007

motivation to perform


motivation to perform certain tasks can be as hard to find as needles in a pile of hay. woman, I don´t even know were to start looking, my head is filled with trivial matters and constantly keeps escaping from every thought related to this paper. there is one path of thoughts that my brain is willing to process, the agony part of it, the creeping feeling of obligation whose smell spreads like a nuclear cloud in my head. the smell is penetrating and permanent.

having experienced this process before does not offer any remedy, this feels like I probably felt when I had just departed from the womb of my mother, silently crying because of the unfamiliar environment and the bright light that my eyes are not willing to face. I desperately inject sugar and tee in a belief that they are beholders of a magic password that will alloud a flow of motivation into my brain and to make it co-operate. I wonder whether the end of thees words will indicate the beginning of the paper?

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young woman sharing selected parts of her thougts, dreams, opinions and expieriences.